A few months ago, when my now fiancé and I had broken up for a month, I was sitting at the bar of a restaurant at Lake Tahoe. My buddy Les sat next to me.
“Kim,” he said, “You attract the strangest men. And it doesn’t make sense because you’re an attractive woman. You’re going to get mad at me for saying this, but you downplay your femininity. You need to wear more eye makeup.”
This mystified me. How could I be downplaying my femininity? I was wearing a sundress. I had spent ten minutes curling my hair. I had applied foundation, makeup powder and eyeliner. I thought I had achieved just the right balance between covering up my flaws and still not looking overdone. I felt feminine and sexy that night. And I told Les as much.
Les shook his head. “Kim, you have to understand that men are basically pigs. You have to appeal to that side of them. As much as I make fun of all the neon women who come in here dressed to the nines and all made up to try to attract a man, let’s face it, that approach works. All you need to do when you go out on a date is stop downplaying your femininity. Wear more makeup.”
His words bugged me. For most of my life I didn’t want a man to even see me without makeup on. And I still refuse to leave the house without foundation on. I even wear makeup when I’m camping. But I had progressed to the point that I could be at home with a man, my face foundation free, and still feel sexy, self-confident, and desirable. I thought I had come a long way here, and now I had a man telling me I should reject all the progress I had made and go back to needing make up to feel sexy.
Later Les spoke with his grown daughter about this and she told him, “Dad, you don’t ever want to tell a woman to wear more makeup. That should be her choice. If Kim doesn’t like to wear a lot of makeup she should be complimented for embracing the au natural look.”
This whole conversation got me thinking about makeup and men. Do the women who wear a lot of come hither eye makeup really make more men, well, come hither? Or is that a bunch of B.S.?
Here’s what I believe. It’s not the makeup that attracts a man to a woman. It’s her self-confidence. She could be wearing jeans and an old T-shirt, no make-up at all, and if she’s self-confident enough to flirt with him, comfortable with her body and appearance, that is what’s sexy. Not the eyeliner or the foundation or the lipstick or blush.
It’s how you move and act that’s more likely to attract a man than how you paint your face. It’s how you feel that’s more important than how you look. Feel sexy and feminine and you’ll be irresistibly attractive to men whether it’s your spouse, your
boyfriend, or (for single ladies) that guy you’re trying to attract.
It’s like that popular “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” song playing on the radio these days. The lyrics say: “You don’t need makeup to cover up. Being the way that you are is enough.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Guys, feel free to chime in on this one, too.