Are You and Your Sweetie Stressed? Or Have You Gone Through Something Traumatic? How to Be More at Peace
If you’re reading this, you’re likely either overwhelmed, stressed, grieving, tired and exhausted or all of the above. Either you’re suffering from everyday job stress or you’ve suffered through something more traumatic. Either way, I’m here to give you relief and help you find peace. Keep reading, and I’ll show you how.
Imagine knowing exactly what to do if one of you gets cancer, is injured in an accident, or loses your job. Imagine knowing how to cope with job stress and not take it out on your significant other. Or knowing exactly what to say to your spouse and what to expect after the death of your child.
Some of the most stressful situations in life are when you don’t know what to expect. If you know what to expect, it can decrease your stress by a lot. I’ve written a book called The Indestructible Relationship that will show you exactly what to expect when you and your sweetie are going through something stressful or traumatic. And how to stop the two of you from taking your stress out on each other.
In a minute, I’ll touch upon trauma and how it impacts your relationship. But first, I’ll talk about ordinary, everyday stress. Like the kind you feel when it’s a hard day at work. Or the kids have been up all night sick and you haven’t gotten a lot of sleep.
Even this everyday stress can weigh you down. It can cause you to snap at your romantic partner—and then you feel bad afterwards. This can damage your relationship because people need to hear five complimentary things to make up for every one time you criticize them.
You might think there’s a problem with your romantic relationship when instead, the problem is really that you’re stressed.
The stress isn’t going to go away. But wouldn’t it feel good if you knew the secrets for staying calm, cool and collected throughout every stressful event that happens to you?
How To Get Your Partner To Give You The Support You Need During Times Of Stress, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Job Loss, And Grief
If you’ve gone through something traumatic the stress and sadness can seem completely overwhelming and exhausting. When something really bad happens, you might see a side of your partner you never saw before. Both of you might cope in different ways. Your relationship becomes something completely different then it was before. For example:
• You might grieve at different paces. Your spouse is having a horrible day and you want to help—but you don’t know exactly how.
• Or maybe you have cancer and you want to talk to your romantic partner about how you’re feeling—but maybe your sweetie can’t go there. You want to turn to your partner for support but you can’t. So what do you do?
• You’ve lost your job and you feel resentful toward your significant other who gets up every morning to go to work. They have a job and you don’t. Even though you don’t want to feel this way every time you see them walk out the door in the morning you can’t help feeling bad.
A while back, I wondered, how do couples who have gone through trauma keep their relationships alive? I wondered, what can you discover from these couples that will show you how to be more at peace under stress? What can they teach you that will help you treat your sweetie better when you’re under stress?
So I decided to get deep in the minds of couples who had been together a long time and had a loving, warm relationship—even during the most stressful and traumatic of times. As a journalist with more than 600 articles published in places like The Huffington Post, YourTango, and The San Jose Mercury News, I wanted to find out exactly what long-lasting couples do to forge an unbreakable bond in times of stress.
I decided to interview couples who had gone through some of the most stressful experiences you can imagine. Death of a child. Bankruptcy and foreclosure. Cancer. Infidelity. Becoming paralyzed a month after the wedding. Having their home damaged in a natural disaster. I wondered, what secrets do these couples have for thriving during stress and trauma?
What I discovered from the couples can stress-proof your own relationship. Because these couples had certain ways of dealing with stressful situations. They used specific skills for making sure the trauma they went through made the two of them stronger. When you use these same skills, your relationship becomes even more warm and loving. You feel more like you’re getting what you need from your partner. You don’t argue as much.
The Ultimate Guide For Couples Who Are Coping With Stress, Grief, or Trauma
Whether you’ve endured something really traumatic, you have a chronic illness, or your job stress is harming your relationship, what I discovered from these indestructible couples can show you how you and your romantic partner can be more at peace with each other. When you buy my book The Indestructible Relationship: Support and Understand Each Other Better During Grief, Illness and All Life’s Stressful Moments the two of you will know exactly what you need to do to shield yourselves from both everyday stress and trauma.
The book is not your typical self-help book. I wrote it as a collection of inspirational stories that show rather than tell how the couples got through trying times. I wrote The Indestructible Relationship this way because I want to give you more than just advice—I want to give you the gift of hope and inspiration.
Here’s what you’ll discover in the book:
• The number one factor that can destroy a relationship in times of stress.
• Why you don’t have to worry if your grieving partner sometimes wants to grieve alone.
• A surprising reason why some men have affairs—and the one time you should forgive your partner for cheating.
• How to get your romantic partner to support you through the tough times and how to feel perfectly at peace and happy if your sweetie can’t support you in the way you want to be supported.
• A simple strategy you can use to see your partner’s point of view and head off arguments before they start.
• An effective way to argue that resolves conflict rather than hurts feelings.
• The most important way you can help your spouse through his or her grief.
• An easy way for long-time lovers to fall passionately back in love with their partners.
• A common trait of couples who survive a crisis with their partnership intact. In fact, without this one trait, your relationship will very likely not make it through the toughest of times—much less day-to-day struggles.
• How one very important and easy change in your attitude can revitalize a marriage in trouble.
• How learning about other couple’s crises can make your relationship stronger.
• The biggest mistake you can make when listening to your partner’s feelings about the traumatic event you just went through.
• The one emotion to avoid no matter what you’ve been through—a child’s death, a natural disaster, cancer, bankruptcy or foreclosure.
The Indestructible Relationship book is your ultimate guide to coping with stress and trauma together with your romantic partner. When you read The Indestructible Relationship, it will comfort you to know that you’re not alone. Others have gone through what you’ve gone through. In The Indestructible Relationship, you’ll discover exactly what you need to do to keep your relationship warm and loving throughout your turbulent times.
Author of The Indestructible Relationship
Winner of The 2012 EPIC award for best non-fiction
P.S. I will donate 25 cents of each book sold to The Compassionate Friends, the nation’s largest self-help bereavement organization for families who have experienced the death of a child.